Separating or Getting a Divorce? Then What Next?

As more and more relationships break down and end up in separation or divorce, it can be scary and frightening.

The scariest question is, what next? Do I need to get a lawyer? What’s it going to cost me? How do I deal with my ex and sort out all the money stuff? What about my kids?

This is where it is important to get the right help.

You can always go to Legal Aid. However, Legal Aid can’t help everyone.

In some countries, it is more straightforward. In some countries, there are recognized laws that require couples to divide their assets equally. For example, in California, you are often entitled to half of all of the accumulated assets of the marriage, unless there is a clear pre-nuptial agreement.

I am a lawyer and I make my money out of helping people sort out scraps. Yet I try and avoid my clients going to court where possible. Nobody wins when that happens. Except for lawyers who bill by the clock.

I always say to my clients to sit down with their ex-partners, especially when they have children involved. Work out something that is good for both you and the children. Nobody wins, least of all the children, by a big fight. Your ego may feel good, but if your children get hurt by it, then who is the real loser?

If you and your ex-partner cannot do this, the Family Court has mediators that can help you talk to your ex-partner. Try and get a consent order (an agreement with your ex-partner on custody of your children, as well as how you split income). If you can’t get this, then get the best family lawyer that you can afford.

You can avoid a lot of heartaches by having a binding financial agreement (Australia’s version of a pre-nuptial agreement) before you go into a relationship or get married, or even partway through it. With binding financial agreements, you can agree upfront on what each party will get if you break up. But there are a lot of factors that can invalidate it, so make sure you get proper advice before you do it!

Do you want to find out more about binding financial agreements? About protecting yourself?

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